The Unwanted Guest

You know when you throw a party, and there’s that obnoxious guy who you didn’t invite, but who shows up anyway. Nobody likes him, he was a bully in school, he’s drunk and sweaty, and harasses every woman he bumps into. He keeps bragging about how successful he is, even though everybody knows he flunked out of high school and has been living with his parents ever since, failing at every business endeavor he embarks on. He mocks another guest who’s in a wheelchair, and he can’t stop making racist jokes. He fills his pockets with food and anything he can get his hands on. He falls over a glass table that shatters in thousand pieces. It’s a shit show. At some point you call the cops, but they absurdly take his side, and start questioning if you actually are the host of the party. It gets confusing.
Finally the party is over. Everybody leaves. Except for the obnoxious, unwanted guest who refuses to leave. He sits on your sofa eating greasy chicken legs he pulls out of his pockets. He’s got a big ugly grin on his face. Then he suddenly vomits on your carpet, and falls asleep. That feeling.

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