THE EARTH IS FLAT | NOV 13TH 2020
I have a friend, or let’s call him an acquaintance, who has been infected by the virus. I’m not sure how he contracted it as he lives far away from the epicenter of the outbreak. As far as I know he has not had any direct contact with other infected people. He lives a pretty isolated life; he’s not the social type, if you know what I mean. He has a very unhealthy lifestyle, and I have been worried about him over the years, thinking that it was just a question of time before he had some serious health issues. I guess you can say he’s always been in the high risk group for something like this to happen to him. He has a talent for attracting anything that has gone viral, let’s leave it at that. This particular virus seems to really have hit him hard though. I’m afraid the unique compostion of the virus made him the perfect host. It had all the shady ingredients that he is so vulnerable to, and sure thing, it messed him up badly. Man, it’s ugly! One of the most devious symptoms of this virus is the relentless urge to spread it to other people. I mean, when you think of it, it’s genius that way. Normally when you get sick your instinct is to make sure you don’t transmit the virus to someone else. This virus has the opposite effect. My acquaintance for example, he has been bombarding me with digital aerosols over the last months, so called emails, desperate to get me infected. As we have come closer and closer to defeating the virus, his attacks have intensified. The lies, the conspiracy theories, the bigotry, the racism, the irrational love of guns, the science defying lunacy – all the fundamental nucleid acids characteristic of TRUMPID-16 have been flooding my inbox. After the historic landslide victory over the virus last week, my acquaintance has gone completely batshit crazy (pun intended) and is now only sending me short delusional and often vile messages in all caps: THE EARTH IS FLAT! MUSICALS ARE GREAT! BLUE CHEESE IS DELICIOUS! Totally bonkers.